Most of this poem was written in a workshop using a simpler version of Haiku as pioneered by Jack Kerouac: the ”pop” http://users.rcn.com/jhudak.interport/Jack.html it follows the 5-7-5 structure but with word count rather than syllable count and utilising Haikubes which are I have to say are brilliant http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haikubes-Forrest-Pruzan-Creative/dp/0811869385 seriously, blows fridge magnet poetry out of the water. Haikubes are large dice with words and subject matter on, you roll them and then use them to physically construct the haiku, they are also american which I guess fits in with Kerouac.
This is also my first post for NAPOWRIMO national poem writing month, one or more members of trio will be posting every day this month (with any luck!) you can find more info (we are down as poetess ramblers blog )here: http://www.napowrimo.net/ Here is the poem, the topic was ”our world” so in the Haiku tradition of writing about nature and the seasons it fitted rather well.
Juddering on the magic bus,
I spy Japanese students camera-phoning each other
looking winsome under white blossom.
We walk along between narcissi
corkscrewing up the spiral of the year
Boy the sun feels good
One flock under the moon,
which was large and xanthine last night
”Look, up baby” he said.