Stirred’s Twisted Fairy Tales Workshop was on Tuesday 19th May as part of Chorlton Arts Festival!
You can download the workshop prompts here: Twisted Fairy Tales Workshop Stirred Poetry 2015
Twisted Fairy Tales
We are all princesses and witches entangled inside. The frog is not for kissing! Cinderella does not go to the ball. Blood coloured apples. A wolf with a belly full of stones.
From The Princess and the Pea
He travelled, wanted enough, a storm, thunder all night. She was real, his wife was put in the museum.
Once upon a time there was a princess who wanted to marry a terrible storm. True story. She went into the bedroom, took off her clothes and the water ran down from her hair. She was bedding the rain and wind, thunder and lightning. In the morning she was asked how she had slept. ‘It’s heaven’, she said, ‘Good gracious’.
ONCE upon a time there was a princess; who had travelled all over the world. There were other princesses enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real. There was always something about them that was exactly as it should be. She was sad, for she would have liked very much to love a real princess.
One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and she went to open it.
It was a princess standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the wind had made her look. The water ran down from her hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of her shoes and out again at the heels. And she said that she was real.
She said nothing more, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the twenty eider-down beds.
On this the princess wanted to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.
Said she. “I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what beauty was in the bed’ Now they knew that she was a real princess because she had felt as sensitive as that.
So the princess took her for her wife. There, that is a true story.
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I’ve looked into these new hoovers
They look pretty good
Now I’ve taken over the kitchen and the money
I can start improving my life
I’ve been asked to the ball
But quite frankly
I can’t be doing with all
This pumpkin and mice
Business. Dancing for
A couple of hours then
Missing the deadline
Doesn’t look good to me
The other sisters I’ve
Chained in the cellar
With just food and water
I am trying cognitive therapy
But I am not sure it’s
Their mother is quite
Friendly after I shut her
In a cupboard. She
Keeps saying I should
Marry but if
A relationship depends
On shoe size I am
Not so keen.
Thanks so much to all who came to our workshops this week, we’re really looking forward to hearing people’s fucked up fairy tales tomorrow at The Three Minute Theatre!